Fighting the routine sex, you might gradually make some super simple changes, or you want to go full-on pornstar perfection. But sex moves don’t have to be over the top, they just have to feel good. You can totally work with what you’ve got—as long as you focus on keeping it hot.
1. Talk It Out
One of the most important things you can do for a happy sex life is to have open and honest conversations with your partner. Talk about things you that turn you on, and find out what turns them on in return. You can really spice up your routine sex by addressing what’s not working for you and letting them know what things they do that makes you go crazy. How else would your partner know that you don’t like doggy-style if you usually just go along with it? The more you talk about sex, the better your sex will become.
2. Stage a Digital Seduction
Remember how excited you used to get when you saw his name on caller ID? How fired up you felt when she returned your text saying she had a great night too. If you’ve fallen into the daily routine sex of a peck on the cheek on the way out the door, sending a flirty text message to your love out of the blue is a great way to keep the fires burning while you’re otherwise engaged. Digitally telling your partner all the raunchy things you want to do to them when you see them next helps remind them of the excitement from the early days, and creates a little fantasy for them to think about all day. Maybe even incorporate a sexy picture.
3. Show a Little Enthusiasm
Flirting and teasing are great for getting your partner good and turned on, but if you can’t maintain the excitement once you get home… Well, what’s the point? The trick is to start off strong and maintain that level of sexual zest throughout the entire encounter. It’s called enthusiasm, and it’s possibly one of the easiest ways to make good sex, well, GREAT.
Put all your effort into everything you do to show your partner that you’re crazy about them and not affected by routine sex. Stroke every apart of their body to make them feel desired. Even if oral sex isn’t your favorite—fake it until you make it, my friend! Treat that penis like it’s the most delicious cock-sicle you’ve ever tasted and let them know how great it is. The more into it you are, the more turned on your lover will be… Which incidentally could lead to even more enthusiastically hot love-making. Sex should be satisfying and gratifying for both partners. Showing your enthusiasm for every aspect of every encounter will help you both feel special and the sex will be anything but routine sex.
4. Slow It Down
If you really want to finish with a big bang, then focus on drawing out the experience. Slowing down all your moves allows you and your partner to feel more pleasure. The art of the tease is the sexiest way to keep arousal at peak levels, while delaying the payoff. Quickies are cute when you’re short on time, but they tend to be short on quality.
Take the time to really be in the moment with each other—suddenly those fires that may have simmered over time start to flare into flames of desire for each other. Trust me when I say, you and your partner are going to FEEL the difference .
5. Break The Routine
If you start to feel like your moves aren’t getting the same reaction they used to, that’s when you know it’s time to change it up. No matter how hot your moves may be, do you really want to bore your partner with the same tired tricks over and over again. NO! Sex is supposed to be expansive. We all have our comfort zones, but we need to branch out if we want to maintain the fire in bed.
You don’t have to let go of all your moves, just focus on improving them. You can start small and then add to your arsenal—add a pillow or wedge for support in complex positions or use some light bondage. Bringing some excitement back into the bedroom by trying a new move or a new toy is a great way to keep the home fires burning. If you usually hit it before you fall asleep at night, surprise him with a morning blowjob! Surprise her in the shower. What about a surprise lunch break romp in the car?