1. Thinking what works now will work forever
It’s a big mistake to think that what works for you (and your partner) today will still do so for you. People change, and their sexual tastes, drives and desires change as well. A current go-to move might not be what you either want in five years, and that’s “totally fine,” St. John assures.
2. Not talking about sex
If you don’t have good communication with your partner, this can make your sex life really messy. Intimacy requires good communication, and that is something that must be constantly worked on, St. John says. If not, “poor communication can be like a virus which sickens an organism,” she says. So be sure to be careful to communicate well with your partner— and seek pair therapy early if this is an area of problem in your relationship.
3. Forgetting to have fun with each other
To keep things fresh, the sex should be fun. “Continue to experiment, read erotica together, find porn you both like, do some research and find a new sexy toy to try and go dancing,” says St. John. “Be playful, get into the relaxation habit and try not to take things so seriously.”
4. Approaching sex and sexuality with fear
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5. Thinking it doesn’t count if there’s not penetration
A lot of straight couples can have difficulty recognizing that sex doesn’t just mean “penis in vagina,” St. John says. “Sometimes this belief is accompanied by the idea that both partners have to orgasm at the same time.” The truth is that there are many different activities and behaviors on the sexual menu, and you and your partner should enjoy all of them.